My chair sent me this message:

[A Head Honcho] would like to bring one of your colleagues to campus and help pay for the trip. Please let me know what you think we could do to make her visit effective.

For “one of my colleagues”, read “really good friend of mine,” but I didn’t reply, because what the hell does that mean?

When he caught me at the photocopier, turned out it meant “do the work and organize it.”

However, I am very proud of myself. An hour on the phone with this colleague and we had a two-day visit scheduled, with tentative plans for visiting classes who would read her work, lunches with students, list of people to invite for speaker dinners, etc.

Unfortunately, my chair has not yet replied to my plan.